I finished a poster last night and I'm so proud of it, for the composition, beauty and feeling of it (and a surprise you'll read in a paragraph or two :) It has a flaw or two that needs to be fixed, but minor ones.

The only thing I feel guilty about it something I didn't foresee: I posted it because of its beauty and someone "shared" it as an invitation without Candie Tallquist from Candie's Kids in Stanwood seeing it first. I wish I'd seen that coming. She should have been the first to see it, and for that, I am sorry

Sometimes public opinion is that computer artwork is somehow not artwork, that somehow there is less work or less creative work involved. It took 3 days or so to do, about as much as a painting. What people don't know is that everything in the posters I make are "made". I'll get a card and erase the background (the Queens at the top) and then put another Queen into it... turn it around opposite and then do a color over it. The key was created because it was a rusty, wooden looking thing... I ran a style over it, tweaked that and there is the key.

The Eat Me, Drink Me was freeware, untouched, the hats were borrowed and revamped with color and pattern, the keyhole was part of a freebie from one of my favorite design sites (they get rid of their old stuff when they have new to sell). I added the light over the mushroom... even added the pouring tea and the tea in the cup in the middle. And most importantly, right there in the middle is my best creation ever: our son. After erasing his original background, just added some color over him and an action or two and he matches the Alice in Wonderland backdrop. This was so much fun and the biggest blessing is knowing this is what I was created to do, and dear God, I am so grateful.

But it makes me wonder about people's painting processes... and wonder how people can do mass produced objects that take little time. Sure, they like it, but when I do something, I get lost in the creation, the moving, the rearranging, the trying this and that and the color and texture. I love it. It brings me to a world where anything is possible as long as my attention span and tenacity hold up. Whether its oil paint, the acrylic rooster on the easel now, the clay soap-dish or the Mad Hatter poster, the luscious process is something I could roll in, like a dog in a treasured scent.

Every brushstroke is felt in detail, in my bones. The color has the same emotional sensation inside my head/heart as savoring Eggplant Pirogue or Shrimp and Tasso pasta at Copeland's (my favorite dishes).

So, yes, I may get my paintings finished quickly, but I'm actually painting slowly and feeling, absorbing, the experience of it.

So what is the better method? For me, when you're absorbed in the process and loving the flow, the product shows the love that went into it and HAS to be beautiful. Its just the nature of being open and letting the Divine energy flow through you into your creation. 

I dedicate this new year to love, joy and integrity.

So, now the website is finished! And I sit here and wonder if there is more I should do to it because its become a habit, like having a piece of cake every night. I've gotten so accustomed to having this to do that I haven't "primed the pump" with inspiration for new pieces yet. I've got to say, I am PROUD of it and need to send Weebly some love! Its not like I don't have a billion other things to do, but it does feel nice to take a break once in a while. I sat here and "optimized" over half of the pages, so I hope search engines will pick up and grab what crumbs I've left out.

In other news, apparently President Obama had his fill of people sending him communications about the Newtown shooting. He had a press conference about it. I'll wait a month or so before I send him my proposal via mail :)

This year is starting out with hope. The last one ended minus some innocence... isn't that the price of living sometimes? Devyn got his first haircut today and I was both proud and sad. I gave it to him and seeing the hair that was growing on his head in my womb come off was somewhat of another umbilical cord being cut. I saw a shooting star, a huge one, streak across the sky perfectly overhead. Its been a good night.

I'm not letting roots of negativity grow anymore. I wrote a letter to a dear loved one, one of the closest we can have in life, requesting that I am not the only person they rely on for comfort when their anxiety becomes too much to bear. I also asked that person to not call me with their health worries until after they have contacted their doctor because I don't have the answers to give. That is unfair to ask of anyone, unless its a professional. That took courage on my part and I'm giving myself credit for it because it wasn't easy.

I am here to tell you that you are the only you that you will have. You are the only source of comfort for some people, like your children and spouse- which is completely OK. But when it comes to others, they need to "diversify" their burdens and it is completely ok to ask others to not use you as an emotional dumping ground because you will become so heavily weighted that swimming in what can be sometimes murky, deep and treacherous water of life becomes impossible.
People sometimes need to be reminded that we have lives outside of what they know of us. If change doesn't happen, I'm willing to change myself to sidetrack the side-effects.

Because of all this, life feels hopeful. Things have ended and things are beginning. My next piece I'd like to be fun, clear, clean and blue.  

Dear readers, if you have suggestions of what to do about this (who to send it to, make a petition, etc) please leave a comment. I will read them all and take them very seriously. 
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
TO:         Whom It May Concern
FROM:    Linda Hill, et al
RE:         Invention Proposal to Stop Mass Spree Killings
DATE:   December 18, 2012

Problem: We won’t ever control people's sanity. Solution: We can control the guns they steal from us.

The design: a removable steel or heavy plastic fingerprint-reading lock placed over guns’ & rifles’ safety so the can't get to it to turn it off.

The logic: If a gun’s safety can’t be turned off, it can’t be used. The inspiration came from my laptop's fingerprint reader that takes ONE second to scan & “unlock”. Other locks won't work because combinations can be figured out (its usually a number the family member knows anyway) & keys get stolen, but a fingerprint belongs to just ONE person.

If no one besides the registered firearm user can unlock the safety:

• ·       Gun is safe from use by the mentally unstable
• ·       Gun is safe from use by children & other family
• ·       Family is safe from it being found & used against them first in home invasions
  
• ·       Registered user is safe from accidental firing during transport, storage, rest
• ·       Recreational activities won’t be limited since the authorized print has to be used to         unlock the device. Unlock it and go.
  
•     Other benefit is that firearm’s use will then be  restricted to approved users & settings by the person who has to unlock it.
• ·       Invention discourages thieves. If they can’t break it off & use it or resell it, stealing it is pointless.
• ·       Invention won’t hinder emergency use as it takes one second to swipe the print & unlock
• ·       It allows police & military the peace of mind when they are off duty (officer’s child here in WA shot & killed his other child with the officer's own gun)

Other ideas for print safety lock:

• fingerprint locks can be placed on guns, gun cases, cabinets or any other gun storage container so collectors & enthusiasts can still collect
• fingerprint recognition can be for the registered gun owner & qualified additional users. All other users of that gun can go through the same registration procedures as the gun purchaser
• registered fingerprints could be put into other data bases (some folks will not like that, but so what)
  

This doesn't affect our Second Amendment rights, rather, the safety feature will emphasize a willingness to be responsible firearm owners. We, as a nation, have to take whatever action necessary to keep our guns out of the hands of those that intend to do us harm. A fingerprint is the only thing we have distinctly our own. The drawbacks: It won’t save the lives of those registered gun owners who snap or forget to lock the guns back up. It won’t stop someone willing to kill the owner to get their fingerprint; However, dismembering another person might be discouraging. This invention will cost owners, but we can keep cost down if we can find distributors willing to make it for the security of our children’s lives rather than their wallets’. For the price of a good helmet or car safety features, we should welcome this new addition.

What is asked of you is to either forward this email to people or get me a list of people you think would go forward with this project:

• ·       inventors
• ·       potential contributors
• ·       potential supporters

I don’t care to be rich; I want my little boy safe. My dream for this proposal is to make this thing & put it on mass killing weapons (maybe all legal handguns, it depends) within a reasonable amount of time. If we can make helmet laws & seatbelt laws to save lives, we can apply this device to solve this issue.  I am a parent who will not take no for an answer & neither should you. I am just an artist with little resources & a proposal that desperately needs your help.

With sincerest hopes of hearing from you,

The Hill Family
Stephen & Linda Hill

Dear leaders, innovators, educators and politicians,

I am an artist with little resources and a proposal that desperately needs your help. I have an idea for an object that could very well stop firearms from being used by unstable or unauthorized people because we can't make everyone mentally healthy and we can't be on the lookout all the time. 

The design: a steel or heavy, nearly unbreakable plastic fingerprint-reading lock that can be placed over the safety switch of guns and rifles. The logic: If a firearm’s safety cannot be turned off, the firearm cannot be used. The inspiration came from my laptop that has a fingerprint reader that takes approximately one second to scan and “unlock” itself.

Because no one besides the registered firearm user’s fingerprint can unlock the safety, the positives are:

·       The firearm is safe from use by the mentally unstable

·       The firearm is safe from use by children and other family members

·       The family is safe from the gun being found and used against them during a break-in

·       The registered user is safe from accidental firing during transport, storage or rest

·       Recreational firearm activities will not be limited because the authorized fingerprint has to be used to unlock the mechanism. (Additional benefit is that use of the firearm will then be restricted to approved users in approved settings.)

·       The safety feature discourages thieves. If they can’t use it, stealing it is pointless.

·       The safety feature will not hinder emergency uses because it takes one second to swipe the fingerprint

·       The feature will allow police and military the peace of mind when they are off duty

Other ideas for the fingerprint safety lock include:

·       fingerprint locks should be placed on gun cases, gun cabinets or any other firearm storage container so collectors and enthusiasts can still collect

·       fingerprint recognition should be for the registered gun owner and qualified additional users. All additional users of that particular firearm should go through the same registration procedures as the gun purchaser

More positives include that the invention will not affect our Second Amendment rights, rather, the safety feature will emphasize our willingness to be responsible firearm owners. We, as a nation, have to take whatever action necessary to keep our guns out of the hands of those that intend to do us harm. Combination locks can be easily figured out and keys can be stolen. A fingerprint is the only thing we have distinctly our own.

This idea has a few drawbacks: This safety invention will not save the lives of those registered gun owners who snap at the expense of our innocent public. It will not work if people forget to lock the guns back up. It will also not stop someone willing to kill the gun owner to acquire the fingerprint; However, hopefully dismembering another person will discourage mass killers. This safety invention will cost responsible gun owners, but I believe we can keep the cost down if we can find distributors willing to make this object for the security of our children’s lives rather than the security of their bottom line. For the price of a good helmet or optional car safety features, we should welcome this new addition. The price of doing nothing is too high. 

What I am asking from you:

• a list of inventors who can turn this idea into a solid object
• a list of potential contributors to this project
• a list of potential supporters

My dream for this proposal is to have this instrument made and in place on mass killing weapons, even perhaps all legally acquired handguns within a reasonable amount of time. If we can implement helmet laws and seatbelt laws to protect the public, we can apply this device to solve OUR public safety firearm issue.  I am a parent who will not take no for an answer and neither should you.

With sincerest hopes of hearing from you,



YOU CAN PUT YOUR NAME HERE
The Hill Family
Stephen, Linda and Devyn Hill
1096 Ellie Lane
Camano Island, WA
98282
360.926.8426
[email protected]

This would stop 1. Gun thefts (because no need to steal a gun when you can't unlock it to use it) 2. Accidental firings from kids. 3. Mass murders from unstable/disgruntled relatives of people who own guns. It won't stop the actual gun owner of going postal, however.

The second saddest thing that happened this year is that a former student of mine died from an accidental gun shot wound in her back. Her name was Sadie Marguerite Warden. We met at an art fair and it was clear to me from meeting her once that she was a bright, loving, fun, goofy, talented, energetic and compassionate girl. She was 13 years old. 

This is a good idea and solves several problems and disagreements at once. The problem is that I don't have the connections or money to do this by myself, but I'm going to try anyway, so help me God I will. If I had the money and know-who, it would be done already.

I do love Albrecht Durer's Melancholia. Not only was he self aware enough to get it, but he could articulate it, too. Back then, I imagine that it was difficult to admit, having those times when nothing would come to mind "Aaaaah!! Artist's block!" Or just being damn frustrated with whatever it is that you're working on. Check out the details of this piece, the dog representing "loyalty" being skinny- or was the angel just too busy to feed him? Time is running out over the angel's head, so sayeth the hourglass. The sun has risen, yet nothing is finished, or even started on, and his marble piece and tools lay around, untouched. I've had those days. But not recently.

But I can't help but think the more we know inwardly, the less artist block we get. Why? There is so much emotional life inside each and every one of us and if you know what you're going through and can visually articulate it, you got a painting. Take Frida Kahlo, epsecially the movie scene where she was having a bath and was looking at the water and thinking. (If you haven't seen it, get it.) The name of her next painting was "What the Water Gave Me". Wonderful for her to acknowledge where her inspiration came from, just sitting in the bath and thinking.

The key is that she was aware of it and knew how she felt about the things she was thinking... enough to draw upon it and allegory. The issue is then you need the time to think.
 
Me, for instance, right now I have a painting in mind, but I'll brainstorm new ones for experiment's sake. My mom is getting older and I'm seeing the change from child role to mother role for me and mother to child for her. What does this translate into real world feelings??? I feel responsible, drained and worried. I can see a finished painting of a woman breastfeeding two children (one is a real baby) and the other one is a mini-adult--- the baby is getting skinnier (meaning that he's not getting the time and attention/nutrients he needs) while the other "infant" is getting fed. The woman is getting dangerously skinny, worse than the other two- meaning that there isn't enough of me to go around and thats how it feels. (Note, this isn't a bad thing, its just acknowledging where I am and this relates to acceptance. We can't accept things that we aren't even brave enough to acknowledge. Get your head out of denial. Denial=Artist's block). I don't wish her gone, I wish her healthy, but that isn't gonna happen at this stage in the game. I miss her being healthy and capable, I mourn her fun and light side. 

Thats another painting about another topic, too, but its too personal to put into public. I don't wanna go there yet and don't have to for now. That makes two, three actually, if you count the one that was already floating around in my head. Four: I feel comfort and love here at home and gratitude. Thats a "my cup overfloweth" piece :) Five, another issue floating around in the back of my mind about how men and women interact, ha ha.

Humor is an awesome inspirational source. Translate something serious into something funny. No one may want to buy it, but why are you painting, anyway?? I've sold a bunch that make me shake my head, anyway. Apparently, they got the humor and for that, I'm glad. But I always sell myself short anyhow.

Anyhow,  about the one I'm gonna start on next: I love to paint "quoting" old master's artwork by add onto and turning their pieces into another meaning. I'm going to use Albrecht Durer's melancholia up there and then put all around the angel (me) the things that distract me throughout the day, keeping that damn hourglass running out when nothing is done.

I've got adult ADHD and some days, its terrible to be in my head. Its such a pain in the ass to try to have a conversation when all of these extra things that no one else notices just overwhelm the thoughts in my head before I can get them out of my mouth. End of conversation for me, anyway. Now, forget about listening, too, for that matter. Yesterday was horrible. Sorry for TMI, but hormones play a role in how bad it gets due to PMS fluctuations effecting concentration, too.

Anyway, to do this, your feelings and the paintings have to be in sync somewhere. What Melancholia and I have in common is that we are both frustrated, feeling pretty unproductive and tense because time is running out. Ditto. The angel has the company of a cherub (Bun for me) and all of his/her wonderful tools.

What is the twist is that the angel is going to be exchanged for a frog. Yep, a frog. I love frogs because they're just funny looking and have these blank expressions on their faces. They just look like goobers and thats what I feel like. What am I saying with this??

That my brain is so reactive to sounds/lights/flickering that it reminds me of a reptilian brain. I can't direct it with will alone, (and I've got a strong one) so the damn thing pays attention to what it wants to no matter what I actually want. Perhaps I'll put bells here and there in the piece, with flies on them. That would signify "attention" on two levels. You know what a bell is for and you know what flies do for a frog. Scratch that, everything is going to have a fly on it and the frog is going to look all googly eyed like cookie monster, ha ha!

The understanding of an ADHD brain being (or feeling, for me at least) like a reptilian brain came from an article about working memory and adhd and thinking patterns. Normies think TOP DOWN in their functioning (internally driven attention). ADHD folks often think BOTTOM UP (externally driven) in their patterns, making them more reactive than other people. Ain't that the damn truth. Lemme see if I can find that article:
http://gazzaleylab.ucsf.edu/topdown-findings.html <---Thats not it, but it'll do.

Anyway, this is doing for me a few things.

First, I get to acknowledge the irritation I'm feeling. Second, I get to translate it into something light and funny and poke some fun at it. Thinking is fun, too.