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February 5, 2014

2/5/2014

First day I'm getting back to gratitude journaling. The idea is to find 5 things to be grateful for every day. So much magic is going on recently and it needs to be kept up with. Psychologists call it "magical thinking", but the rest of us call it coincidence or Universal Consciousness or... God.
Today, I am grateful for
1. The sweetest email from a friend who volunteered to "peacemake" in a group to help someone. Its so wonderful to know someone who would do such a thing. The email he sent me contained insight about an issue I've dealt with forever, people being afraid of me. Now, I know why and it is much sweeter than I had thought.

2. My son, after seeing the above picture and listening to the song I heard last at 16 or so, saying "There's Mama." My jaw dropped! (Sweetie, I wish. But maybe there is an ideal of how face proportions match up? Eyes to nose to chin ratio?) It sure was sweet.

3. Stephen surprising me with take-out Mexican. It was GOOD. How thoughtful is that :)

4. Dancing to old-school music and still being able to move like a liquid (ha)

5. Starting the finishing touches on a painting that means very much, which will be traded for a painting from a friend that means very much.

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I saw a huge shooting star tonight

1/3/2013

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I dedicate this new year to love, joy and integrity.

So, now the website is finished! And I sit here and wonder if there is more I should do to it because its become a habit, like having a piece of cake every night. I've gotten so accustomed to having this to do that I haven't "primed the pump" with inspiration for new pieces yet. I've got to say, I am PROUD of it and need to send Weebly some love! Its not like I don't have a billion other things to do, but it does feel nice to take a break once in a while. I sat here and "optimized" over half of the pages, so I hope search engines will pick up and grab what crumbs I've left out.

In other news, apparently President Obama had his fill of people sending him communications about the Newtown shooting. He had a press conference about it. I'll wait a month or so before I send him my proposal via mail :)

This year is starting out with hope. The last one ended minus some innocence... isn't that the price of living sometimes? Devyn got his first haircut today and I was both proud and sad. I gave it to him and seeing the hair that was growing on his head in my womb come off was somewhat of another umbilical cord being cut. I saw a shooting star, a huge one, streak across the sky perfectly overhead. Its been a good night.

I'm not letting roots of negativity grow anymore. I wrote a letter to a dear loved one, one of the closest we can have in life, requesting that I am not the only person they rely on for comfort when their anxiety becomes too much to bear. I also asked that person to not call me with their health worries until after they have contacted their doctor because I don't have the answers to give. That is unfair to ask of anyone, unless its a professional. That took courage on my part and I'm giving myself credit for it because it wasn't easy.

I am here to tell you that you are the only you that you will have. You are the only source of comfort for some people, like your children and spouse- which is completely OK. But when it comes to others, they need to "diversify" their burdens and it is completely ok to ask others to not use you as an emotional dumping ground because you will become so heavily weighted that swimming in what can be sometimes murky, deep and treacherous water of life becomes impossible.
People sometimes need to be reminded that we have lives outside of what they know of us. If change doesn't happen, I'm willing to change myself to sidetrack the side-effects.

Because of all this, life feels hopeful. Things have ended and things are beginning. My next piece I'd like to be fun, clear, clean and blue.

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February 5, 2014

I saw a huge shooting star tonight

Linda Hill

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