She had such a hard time letting go, and this may be why: My Mom's life story

Now, this is what happened last night and today: 

Here is the actual link of what I wrote on facebook but below is copied and pasted. 
"This past weekend was spent telling Mom all I wanted her to know. We listened to CCR and Janis Joplin yesterday. I danced for her with Bun, made her comfortable and talked with her some more. I asked her, when she does go, please send me some vision to know that she is OK. Mom hung on and hung on.
 
Last night, from seeing her so pitiful for so long, I "nagged" her... "Mom, I love you so much and will miss you so much, but you've got so much more waiting for you that is beautiful beyond description- you've got Aunt Betty, Uncle Milford, Aunt Patty, Grandma and Dad waiting for you. There is so much joy and love waiting for you...PLEASE don't hang on to this little sick body that is too small for you. Don't think this is the best you're going to have. God has so much more for you, please accept it with open arms. But you're going to have to let go, first. Now, I'm going to sleep with you all night, and when I wake up, although I love you, please don't be in this little body anymore. Good night, Mommy, I love you." 

At 6 am, Stephen woke up, come in and checked on us. I was in the bed with her and could feel her heartbeat through the mattress. I went back to sleep. Sometime before 8 am, I heard a soft voice say: "She looks just like she did when she was alive." I thought it was Stephen, so I woke up and patted her... and she was gone. I don't know who that was, but it was a soft voice. 

So, I go tell Stephen. He comes into the kitchen and sees a Mama Deer and two older babies...... walking right up Mom's steps. Just like our shared dream in September. I cried and told Stephen "I told you they'd come for her. I guess The White Stag had showed up earlier." Stag is the symbol for Christ. Right now, I am so humbled that God, our Shared Source, saw fit to share this experience not only with me, but with him, too. No one would believe this. I am brought to my knees in the awe of this experience and validation. 

We are a part of All that Is and It is magnificent."

Medieval Bestiary : Stag
bestiary.caThe stag is the enemy of the snake. When the stag discovers a snake, it spits water into the hole where the snake hides, draws the snake out with its breath, and tramples it to death. If the stag is ill or old, it draws the snake out of hiding and swallows it. The stag then finds water and drinks la...

Occasionally, waves of sadness hit me so hard that it feels like someone is kicking in my throat. We had the most incredible journey with my Mom... filled with laughter, sadness, fear, anger and numbness. For her, the journey may have ended, but for me, it still goes on. 

And so will this relationship, I just know it. But those waves are a kicker. It will level you in a heartbeat-- and it doesn't care if you're in Walmart, church, a business meeting or dancing on the moon. When it hits, you don't have control over it. Just go with it and allow it to move through you... anything else is to block it and make loving and opening more difficult for you later. 

Thank you Mom for being the instrument for making me. You've touched the lives of so many and I am so honored to have you in my life. I love you.