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Ignoring me doesn't discourage me, just ask Stephen :)

12/18/2012

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LOL, that is a dig, lovingly, at my husband. About this gun topic, and others I'll admit to, he knows when I'm on a streak, just go along or get out of the way.

I did send that letter to the prez, any firearm activist I see on TV news shows, homeland security (like 20 of them, there are so many departments that sound like its what we need), the chief of police, John Edwards, in Oak Creek Wisconsin- who had been to a Homeland Security brainstorming meeting called "How to prevent mass shootings from happening". So I emailed him and everyone else.

I'm gonna fax some folks tomorrow. I'll give them a week or so, after Christmas- maybe the middle of January when things cool down, I'll start calling them and sending solid letters with stamps on them. Normal people can do this stuff, they just have to get mad enough and sick enough of the current circumstances to get off their butts.

Do you really want to know what happened? Besides seeing Devyn in all of those dead children and the first two little boys buried today, I was reminded of Sadie M. Warden. I prayed to God to please send me the help, the angels, the living flesh and blood folks, the spirits and any other positive energy available to help me do what I can to stop the suffering caused by any more needless deaths by mass and accidental shootings.

Did you see the picture of her grave stone in a previous blog post?? That caring, energetic, bubbly girl is reduced to a cold, hard, sweaty stone set on top of the ground. To those that met her, that isn't what she is, but the rest of the world deserved to know her and not the stone. She certainly deserved a chance at the prom, first loves, children. All of our dead children do. I promised Sadie that I would do what I could to stop another mother and this world from losing children as wonderful as she is. Funny thing, I felt almost happy, almost.... hmm. whats the word here. Blessed? I got a blessing? It was subtle, like something moved through the room, but you never saw it. Just felt the breeze. It sounds weird, but I'll take it. Anyway....

This is it. Its simple. Its practical. It has drawbacks, but its a helluva lot easier than trying to get inside the mind of every human being in the United States.  And if it was used on the gun that Sadie's relative had gotten ahold of, she would be here. Sadly, it wouldn't help my brother (we share the same father and didn't get to grow up together), Skip Roberts. He shot his estranged wife, Sally, on courthouse steps and then shot himself. Of other things, he was a loving, protective and strong human being. I only got to meet her for a little while, but I really liked her and she didn't deserve that. Neither did their children. I get the feeling he regrets the pain it caused and is happy that I'm doing what I'm doing. I miss him and the relationship we could have had.  

I'm blessed (cursed, depending on who you ask) of not having boundaries, especially emotional ones. What happens to you, happens to me. It works to better my heart, my art and my spirituality... it also hurts a great deal. I imagine, but would never wish this on anyone, that if their (the opponents' of gun control) loved ones were gunned down, they'd pick their dragging asses up and get on the bandwagon, too.

So, yeah, this is personal.

Below is the Wikepedia article on the Grant County Courthouse:

"1996 Murder/Suicide


The year 1996 brought new problems and issues for the Grant County courthouse. After the end of a short divorce hearing, James H. “Skip” Roberts decided to shoot his wife, who had just received a divorce from him. He then shot himself. The murder/suicide occurred on the south steps of the courthouse. After a five minute divorce hearing, Sally Roberts left the courthouse with a male friend. James Roberts also left the courthouse and shot Sally in the head at close range. He immediately turned the gun on himself. Both died instantly and experienced little pain. Although it is not known whether the gun was taken into the hearing or obtained from a car after the hearing, this event called into question the security in place at the courthouse. Security measures have now been expanded at the courthouse (Patterson and Fleming 12 October 1996) "

Here is Sally's online memorial I just found:

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=10063360

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Revised letter edition for character limits

12/18/2012

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Dear readers, if you have suggestions of what to do about this (who to send it to, make a petition, etc) please leave a comment. I will read them all and take them very seriously. 
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
TO:         Whom It May Concern
FROM:    Linda Hill, et al
RE:         Invention Proposal to Stop Mass Spree Killings
DATE:   December 18, 2012

Problem: We won’t ever control people's sanity. Solution: We can control the guns they steal from us.

The design: a removable steel or heavy plastic fingerprint-reading lock placed over guns’ & rifles’ safety so the can't get to it to turn it off.

The logic: If a gun’s safety can’t be turned off, it can’t be used. The inspiration came from my laptop's fingerprint reader that takes ONE second to scan & “unlock”. Other locks won't work because combinations can be figured out (its usually a number the family member knows anyway) & keys get stolen, but a fingerprint belongs to just ONE person.

If no one besides the registered firearm user can unlock the safety:

  • ·       Gun is safe from use by the mentally unstable
  • ·       Gun is safe from use by children & other family
  • ·       Family is safe from it being found & used against them first in home invasions
  • ·       Registered user is safe from accidental firing during transport, storage, rest
  • ·       Recreational activities won’t be limited since the authorized print has to be used to         unlock the device. Unlock it and go.
  •     Other benefit is that firearm’s use will then be  restricted to approved users & settings by the person who has to unlock it.
  • ·       Invention discourages thieves. If they can’t break it off & use it or resell it, stealing it is pointless.
  • ·       Invention won’t hinder emergency use as it takes one second to swipe the print & unlock
  • ·       It allows police & military the peace of mind when they are off duty (officer’s child here in WA shot & killed his other child with the officer's own gun)

Other ideas for print safety lock:

  • fingerprint locks can be placed on guns, gun cases, cabinets or any other gun storage container so collectors & enthusiasts can still collect
  • fingerprint recognition can be for the registered gun owner & qualified additional users. All other users of that gun can go through the same registration procedures as the gun purchaser
  • registered fingerprints could be put into other data bases (some folks will not like that, but so what)

This doesn't affect our Second Amendment rights, rather, the safety feature will emphasize a willingness to be responsible firearm owners. We, as a nation, have to take whatever action necessary to keep our guns out of the hands of those that intend to do us harm. A fingerprint is the only thing we have distinctly our own. The drawbacks: It won’t save the lives of those registered gun owners who snap or forget to lock the guns back up. It won’t stop someone willing to kill the owner to get their fingerprint; However, dismembering another person might be discouraging. This invention will cost owners, but we can keep cost down if we can find distributors willing to make it for the security of our children’s lives rather than their wallets’. For the price of a good helmet or car safety features, we should welcome this new addition.

What is asked of you is to either forward this email to people or get me a list of people you think would go forward with this project:
  • ·       inventors
  • ·       potential contributors
  • ·       potential supporters

I don’t care to be rich; I want my little boy safe. My dream for this proposal is to make this thing & put it on mass killing weapons (maybe all legal handguns, it depends) within a reasonable amount of time. If we can make helmet laws & seatbelt laws to save lives, we can apply this device to solve this issue.  I am a parent who will not take no for an answer & neither should you. I am just an artist with little resources & a proposal that desperately needs your help.

With sincerest hopes of hearing from you,

The Hill Family
Stephen & Linda Hill

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Idea for fingerprint lock letter written and sent 

12/17/2012

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Dear leaders, innovators, educators and politicians,

I am an artist with little resources and a proposal that desperately needs your help. I have an idea for an object that could very well stop firearms from being used by unstable or unauthorized people because we can't make everyone mentally healthy and we can't be on the lookout all the time. 

The design: a steel or heavy, nearly unbreakable plastic fingerprint-reading lock that can be placed over the safety switch of guns and rifles. The logic: If a firearm’s safety cannot be turned off, the firearm cannot be used. The inspiration came from my laptop that has a fingerprint reader that takes approximately one second to scan and “unlock” itself.

Because no one besides the registered firearm user’s fingerprint can unlock the safety, the positives are:

·       The firearm is safe from use by the mentally unstable

·       The firearm is safe from use by children and other family members

·       The family is safe from the gun being found and used against them during a break-in

·       The registered user is safe from accidental firing during transport, storage or rest

·       Recreational firearm activities will not be limited because the authorized fingerprint has to be used to unlock the mechanism. (Additional benefit is that use of the firearm will then be restricted to approved users in approved settings.)

·       The safety feature discourages thieves. If they can’t use it, stealing it is pointless.

·       The safety feature will not hinder emergency uses because it takes one second to swipe the fingerprint

·       The feature will allow police and military the peace of mind when they are off duty

Other ideas for the fingerprint safety lock include:

·       fingerprint locks should be placed on gun cases, gun cabinets or any other firearm storage container so collectors and enthusiasts can still collect

·       fingerprint recognition should be for the registered gun owner and qualified additional users. All additional users of that particular firearm should go through the same registration procedures as the gun purchaser

More positives include that the invention will not affect our Second Amendment rights, rather, the safety feature will emphasize our willingness to be responsible firearm owners. We, as a nation, have to take whatever action necessary to keep our guns out of the hands of those that intend to do us harm. Combination locks can be easily figured out and keys can be stolen. A fingerprint is the only thing we have distinctly our own.

This idea has a few drawbacks: This safety invention will not save the lives of those registered gun owners who snap at the expense of our innocent public. It will not work if people forget to lock the guns back up. It will also not stop someone willing to kill the gun owner to acquire the fingerprint; However, hopefully dismembering another person will discourage mass killers. This safety invention will cost responsible gun owners, but I believe we can keep the cost down if we can find distributors willing to make this object for the security of our children’s lives rather than the security of their bottom line. For the price of a good helmet or optional car safety features, we should welcome this new addition. The price of doing nothing is too high. 

What I am asking from you:

  • a list of inventors who can turn this idea into a solid object
  • a list of potential contributors to this project
  • a list of potential supporters

My dream for this proposal is to have this instrument made and in place on mass killing weapons, even perhaps all legally acquired handguns within a reasonable amount of time. If we can implement helmet laws and seatbelt laws to protect the public, we can apply this device to solve OUR public safety firearm issue.  I am a parent who will not take no for an answer and neither should you.

With sincerest hopes of hearing from you,



YOU CAN PUT YOUR NAME HERE
The Hill Family
Stephen, Linda and Devyn Hill
1096 Ellie Lane
Camano Island, WA
98282
360.926.8426
Linda@HillArtistry.com

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So much to think about, so much to do

12/16/2012

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Picture
"BEFORE" of Sadie Warden
Picture
"After" of Sadie Warden. Another victim in 2012 of accidental gun death






There is something good to be said about being an idea generator. Unfortunately, if you exist with limited means (money, time, energy) it causes a great deal of anxiety because there is so much I want to do and not enough of things necessary to do them.

First, I- like everyone else- am still reeling from the Sandy Hook tragedy. I couldn't sleep because of thinking about it last night. Reading social media and watching news stories, it strikes me that people like to argue about the details of the disaster-- what the killer did in what order, how to make all people mentally healthy, how to ban all guns. And nothing practical is being planned to SOLVE the problem.

People don't know that, besides being lofty, air headed idealists, artists are fantastic problem solvers. Thats what a visionary is: someone who sees beyond the facts of what IS into what it could be. Its the essence of creation, itself.  Its easy. A gizmo that is fingerprint operated that locks over the safety mechanism on a gun that can be removed My PC fingerprint reader takes 1 second to unlock my PC. If you can't turn the safety off, you can't fire the gun. In my thinking, the fingerprint lock's memory should only hold one unlocking fingerprint, that of its registered owner. Any other users should go through a registration process, too, imo. All guns should have these mechanisms over them. All owners should have them because rights come with responsibilities.
This would stop 1. Gun thefts (because no need to steal a gun when you can't unlock it to use it) 2. Accidental firings from kids. 3. Mass murders from unstable/disgruntled relatives of people who own guns. It won't stop the actual gun owner of going postal, however.

The second saddest thing that happened this year is that a former student of mine died from an accidental gun shot wound in her back. Her name was Sadie Marguerite Warden. We met at an art fair and it was clear to me from meeting her once that she was a bright, loving, fun, goofy, talented, energetic and compassionate girl. She was 13 years old. 

This is a good idea and solves several problems and disagreements at once. The problem is that I don't have the connections or money to do this by myself, but I'm going to try anyway, so help me God I will. If I had the money and know-who, it would be done already.
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Sandy Hook Elementary 

12/14/2012

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I'm writing in short choppy sentences because my brain feels frozen in shock. I sat down to rock Devyn to sleep for his nap. I turned on Dr. Phil to bore him to sleep, although its something that interests Mommy. On the TV, instead of the trivialities of the usual commercials, was this special NBC news report of a man telling everyone that someone had shot 20 children and 7 adults dead.

My brain just couldn't make sense out of what it was seeing and hearing. While listening and trying to mentally digest this information, I tried to rock Devyn at my normal pace, hugging him at our normal strength, but grief overcame any attempt at normalcy. Instead, I hugged him tighter, longer and closer and told him how precious he is to me. After laying him down on his blanket, I started to sob.

Like everyone else, I go from numbing shock, anger, to sadness over and over today. I am so angry that this keeps happening and more regulation or less guns isn't an option for some folks who hide behind their "rights". I am so sad for the parents, we can't hear of something like this without putting ourselves in their shoes. I would have been home washing clothes, putting dishes away or working on our website and art business. The TV would show breaking news and then the realization would hit that that was Devyn's school.... and there is nothing that can be done to make the pain go away after that.

As a nation, we don't have the funds to put together all of the safety precautions needed to weed out crazy people/guns in public places. What is left to do? We can't do nothing. We can't allow business as usual to go on when the business as usual is this horrific.

Do I have a gun? Yes. Its hidden in this house in a safe place. Will it be locked up when Devyn is old enough to climb to get it? Yes. Am I going to go batshit nuts and shoot dozens of people? No. Do I have the need for something that can shoot over and over and over at high speeds? No. Do I think anyone else needs that as a citizen on this continent? No.

We, as a nation, have to accept that crazy people, bad people, evil people exist and then determine what we are going to do to protect ourselves from their ability to get guns and use them against the innocent children and people in our society. We have to limit their rights, increase our security in some way even if that means limiting our rights in the process. I will sacrifice mine to save our children.

But there are those who won't and these people haven't been on the receiving end of some deranged, sick fucker's gun. I think these folks have a lack of empathy or imagination and they will get in the way of any kind of control that can safeguard our kids by blocking legislation. But just know that I will give up some of my rights to keep our children safe. These dead children deserve that. Our living children deserve that.
 
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Acceptance

12/7/2012

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Picture
I do love Albrecht Durer's Melancholia. Not only was he self aware enough to get it, but he could articulate it, too. Back then, I imagine that it was difficult to admit, having those times when nothing would come to mind "Aaaaah!! Artist's block!" Or just being damn frustrated with whatever it is that you're working on. Check out the details of this piece, the dog representing "loyalty" being skinny- or was the angel just too busy to feed him? Time is running out over the angel's head, so sayeth the hourglass. The sun has risen, yet nothing is finished, or even started on, and his marble piece and tools lay around, untouched. I've had those days. But not recently.

But I can't help but think the more we know inwardly, the less artist block we get. Why? There is so much emotional life inside each and every one of us and if you know what you're going through and can visually articulate it, you got a painting. Take Frida Kahlo, epsecially the movie scene where she was having a bath and was looking at the water and thinking. (If you haven't seen it, get it.) The name of her next painting was "What the Water Gave Me". Wonderful for her to acknowledge where her inspiration came from, just sitting in the bath and thinking.

The key is that she was aware of it and knew how she felt about the things she was thinking... enough to draw upon it and allegory. The issue is then you need the time to think.
 
Me, for instance, right now I have a painting in mind, but I'll brainstorm new ones for experiment's sake. My mom is getting older and I'm seeing the change from child role to mother role for me and mother to child for her. What does this translate into real world feelings??? I feel responsible, drained and worried. I can see a finished painting of a woman breastfeeding two children (one is a real baby) and the other one is a mini-adult--- the baby is getting skinnier (meaning that he's not getting the time and attention/nutrients he needs) while the other "infant" is getting fed. The woman is getting dangerously skinny, worse than the other two- meaning that there isn't enough of me to go around and thats how it feels. (Note, this isn't a bad thing, its just acknowledging where I am and this relates to acceptance. We can't accept things that we aren't even brave enough to acknowledge. Get your head out of denial. Denial=Artist's block). I don't wish her gone, I wish her healthy, but that isn't gonna happen at this stage in the game. I miss her being healthy and capable, I mourn her fun and light side. 

Thats another painting about another topic, too, but its too personal to put into public. I don't wanna go there yet and don't have to for now. That makes two, three actually, if you count the one that was already floating around in my head. Four: I feel comfort and love here at home and gratitude. Thats a "my cup overfloweth" piece :) Five, another issue floating around in the back of my mind about how men and women interact, ha ha.

Humor is an awesome inspirational source. Translate something serious into something funny. No one may want to buy it, but why are you painting, anyway?? I've sold a bunch that make me shake my head, anyway. Apparently, they got the humor and for that, I'm glad. But I always sell myself short anyhow.

Anyhow,  about the one I'm gonna start on next: I love to paint "quoting" old master's artwork by add onto and turning their pieces into another meaning. I'm going to use Albrecht Durer's melancholia up there and then put all around the angel (me) the things that distract me throughout the day, keeping that damn hourglass running out when nothing is done.

I've got adult ADHD and some days, its terrible to be in my head. Its such a pain in the ass to try to have a conversation when all of these extra things that no one else notices just overwhelm the thoughts in my head before I can get them out of my mouth. End of conversation for me, anyway. Now, forget about listening, too, for that matter. Yesterday was horrible. Sorry for TMI, but hormones play a role in how bad it gets due to PMS fluctuations effecting concentration, too.

Anyway, to do this, your feelings and the paintings have to be in sync somewhere. What Melancholia and I have in common is that we are both frustrated, feeling pretty unproductive and tense because time is running out. Ditto. The angel has the company of a cherub (Bun for me) and all of his/her wonderful tools.

What is the twist is that the angel is going to be exchanged for a frog. Yep, a frog. I love frogs because they're just funny looking and have these blank expressions on their faces. They just look like goobers and thats what I feel like. What am I saying with this??

That my brain is so reactive to sounds/lights/flickering that it reminds me of a reptilian brain. I can't direct it with will alone, (and I've got a strong one) so the damn thing pays attention to what it wants to no matter what I actually want. Perhaps I'll put bells here and there in the piece, with flies on them. That would signify "attention" on two levels. You know what a bell is for and you know what flies do for a frog. Scratch that, everything is going to have a fly on it and the frog is going to look all googly eyed like cookie monster, ha ha!


The understanding of an ADHD brain being (or feeling, for me at least) like a reptilian brain came from an article about working memory and adhd and thinking patterns. Normies think TOP DOWN in their functioning (internally driven attention). ADHD folks often think BOTTOM UP (externally driven) in their patterns, making them more reactive than other people. Ain't that the damn truth. Lemme see if I can find that article:
http://gazzaleylab.ucsf.edu/topdown-findings.html <---Thats not it, but it'll do.

Anyway, this is doing for me a few things.

First, I get to acknowledge the irritation I'm feeling. Second, I get to translate it into something light and funny and poke some fun at it. Thinking is fun, too.        

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    Linda Hill

    I am a life long artist, divorced from a 20 year marriage and a Mommy to a gorgeous little boy  for  3 years.

    I love God Consciousness, love to give and love the human spirit in all its forms. Nothing separates us, separation is an illusion.

    Its taken me a long time to feel comfortable in my own skin, scars and all. A past of neglect and sometimes abuse gave me issues I have to work through, sometimes here.

    What helped me most is to truly love and help others. You can't give what you don't have, but by giving, you will find that you already have all that you could ever wish for.

    My art, blog and life has been about "owning" myself along with all the mixed blessings that come with this thing we call life.

    Like the Velveteen Rabbit, I have become REAL.




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