I'm writing in short choppy sentences because my brain feels frozen in shock. I sat down to rock Devyn to sleep for his nap. I turned on Dr. Phil to bore him to sleep, although its something that interests Mommy. On the TV, instead of the trivialities of the usual commercials, was this special NBC news report of a man telling everyone that someone had shot 20 children and 7 adults dead.
My brain just couldn't make sense out of what it was seeing and hearing. While listening and trying to mentally digest this information, I tried to rock Devyn at my normal pace, hugging him at our normal strength, but grief overcame any attempt at normalcy. Instead, I hugged him tighter, longer and closer and told him how precious he is to me. After laying him down on his blanket, I started to sob.
Like everyone else, I go from numbing shock, anger, to sadness over and over today. I am so angry that this keeps happening and more regulation or less guns isn't an option for some folks who hide behind their "rights". I am so sad for the parents, we can't hear of something like this without putting ourselves in their shoes. I would have been home washing clothes, putting dishes away or working on our website and art business. The TV would show breaking news and then the realization would hit that that was Devyn's school.... and there is nothing that can be done to make the pain go away after that.
As a nation, we don't have the funds to put together all of the safety precautions needed to weed out crazy people/guns in public places. What is left to do? We can't do nothing. We can't allow business as usual to go on when the business as usual is this horrific.
Do I have a gun? Yes. Its hidden in this house in a safe place. Will it be locked up when Devyn is old enough to climb to get it? Yes. Am I going to go batshit nuts and shoot dozens of people? No. Do I have the need for something that can shoot over and over and over at high speeds? No. Do I think anyone else needs that as a citizen on this continent? No.
We, as a nation, have to accept that crazy people, bad people, evil people exist and then determine what we are going to do to protect ourselves from their ability to get guns and use them against the innocent children and people in our society. We have to limit their rights, increase our security in some way even if that means limiting our rights in the process. I will sacrifice mine to save our children.
But there are those who won't and these people haven't been on the receiving end of some deranged, sick fucker's gun. I think these folks have a lack of empathy or imagination and they will get in the way of any kind of control that can safeguard our kids by blocking legislation. But just know that I will give up some of my rights to keep our children safe. These dead children deserve that. Our living children deserve that.
My brain just couldn't make sense out of what it was seeing and hearing. While listening and trying to mentally digest this information, I tried to rock Devyn at my normal pace, hugging him at our normal strength, but grief overcame any attempt at normalcy. Instead, I hugged him tighter, longer and closer and told him how precious he is to me. After laying him down on his blanket, I started to sob.
Like everyone else, I go from numbing shock, anger, to sadness over and over today. I am so angry that this keeps happening and more regulation or less guns isn't an option for some folks who hide behind their "rights". I am so sad for the parents, we can't hear of something like this without putting ourselves in their shoes. I would have been home washing clothes, putting dishes away or working on our website and art business. The TV would show breaking news and then the realization would hit that that was Devyn's school.... and there is nothing that can be done to make the pain go away after that.
As a nation, we don't have the funds to put together all of the safety precautions needed to weed out crazy people/guns in public places. What is left to do? We can't do nothing. We can't allow business as usual to go on when the business as usual is this horrific.
Do I have a gun? Yes. Its hidden in this house in a safe place. Will it be locked up when Devyn is old enough to climb to get it? Yes. Am I going to go batshit nuts and shoot dozens of people? No. Do I have the need for something that can shoot over and over and over at high speeds? No. Do I think anyone else needs that as a citizen on this continent? No.
We, as a nation, have to accept that crazy people, bad people, evil people exist and then determine what we are going to do to protect ourselves from their ability to get guns and use them against the innocent children and people in our society. We have to limit their rights, increase our security in some way even if that means limiting our rights in the process. I will sacrifice mine to save our children.
But there are those who won't and these people haven't been on the receiving end of some deranged, sick fucker's gun. I think these folks have a lack of empathy or imagination and they will get in the way of any kind of control that can safeguard our kids by blocking legislation. But just know that I will give up some of my rights to keep our children safe. These dead children deserve that. Our living children deserve that.
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